Monkey

Monkey is the twenty second Silly Songs with Larry.

Bob and Larry are on a safari, and Larry tells about the differences between a monkey and an ape after hearing it from a zoo expert. He takes the concept too far and Bob tries to correct him.

Lyrics

Narrator: And now it’s time for Silly Songs with Larry, the part of the show where Larry comes out and sings a silly song. Today Larry and Bob were on a photo safari, hot on the trail of a monkey...or an ape. We don’t know which, hence the song.

Larry: If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey Even if it has a monkey kinda shape If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape! If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey

Bob: Let’s see if we can catch it on the tape!

Larry: You can very plainly see if it’s a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

Bob: Look, there it goes, there it goes, I don’t know, I can’t tell if it’s a monkey or an ape!

Larry: It’s very simple, Bob...If it doesn’t have a tail it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

Bob: Larry, I’m not so sure...

Larry: Boogawooga, isn’t that a monkey?

Bob: Boogawooga, maybe it’s an ape!

Larry: If it’s a nickel or a salad or a pillow If it doesn’t have a tail  It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

Bob: If it doesn’t have a tail? Larry: It’s not a monkey! Bob: Are you sure that’s what you really mean to say? A camera has no tail! Larry: It’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

Bob: ... I think there’s something wrong with your logic, Larry...

Larry: Well Bob, the lady at the zoo said it, and who am I to tell her that she’s wrong? If there’s a tail, it’s a monkey. No tail; ape. It’s easy!

Bob: But Larry... a kite has a tail! Larry: Then it’s a monkey

Bob: A comet has a tail! Larry: It’s a monkey

Bob: A bubble doesn’t have a... Larry: Then it’s not a monkey, If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey...

Bob:  It’s an ape?

Larry: Exactly! I knew you’d catch on!

Bob: Larry, we might need to talk about this. I don’t think the lady at the zoo meant...

Larry: Shh! (they duck down) Look, there it goes!  In the trees, follow me!  It’s gotta be a monkey or an ape! I can’t believe it’s true All this time, I’ve searched for you Snap the picture, Take the shot! We’re among the lucky few! We finally did it, Photographer! We’ve discovered what we’re after! Let me look! Is it an ape?

Bob: Larry... this is a disaster. (they are standing next to a cow)

Larry: It’s a monkey!

Bob: Ahem, Larry...that’s a cow. Not a...

Larry: That was exhilarating! Let’s find more! If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey Even if it has a monkey kinda shape If it doesn’t have a tail, it’s not a monkey If it doesn’t have a tail It’s not a monkey, it’s an ape!

Narrator: This has been Silly Songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Bob say... Bob: Larry, you don’t have a tail.

Larry: I don’t?

Bob: Nope, and neither do I!

Larry: I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Bob.

Bob: What do you mean?

Larry: Oh, nothin’...

(Bob starts to walk off...he has a tail)

Characters

• Bob
• Larry
• Pa Grape (cameo)

Fun Facts

Trivia

• This song was based after Andrew Peterson and Randall Goodgame went to the zoo and a kid ask about "how you can tell which is a monkey and a ape?".
• The creature Bob and Larry saw swinging around is actually Pa Grape in his lion costume.

Gallery